<~ Killing me Softly ~>

Purplerose @ 8:20 AM | 0 Comments

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Latest Dictionary Definitions!

Divorce: Future tense of marriage (makes me think twice now!)

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.(I so dig into this...no offence to the fools reading this!)

Lecture: An art of transferring information from notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either (hmm...would be much easier if they could mind read...at least we could cut down the ridiculously high fees..)

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present (bingo!)

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece (hmm..i think i am good at this!)

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power (Yeah! Female Power!)

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. (always knew those rooms were jinx!)

Classic: A book that people praise, but do not read (yup...interesting how they get away with not knowing what the hell it's abt)

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight (hmmm...mine's quite expensive!)

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. (think this is true for some people in my office!)

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouths. (well...i think they should still at least cover their mouths...men...when will they ever learn manners!)

Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. (oh..so that what it means...always wonder why some people high up there keep using this!)

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide nothing can be done together (this is like the gospel truth)

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes (men are so creative...dn't u think so??)

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life only to be spoken of when dead. (he'll be lucky if anyone still bothers to speak abt him...nowadays...deaths by Sting rays and other unique manners are more the hot topics!)

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. (And we do so much to foster foreign relations...hmm??..)

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich (it's all in the 'will')

Father: A banker provided by nature (god is fair!)

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest…except he got caught (yup...dumb guy who knows not to cover his tracks!)

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early (what abt those who are never around?)

Politician: One who shakes your hands before elections and your confidence after. (not really...in some instances... they are too busy bickering about paper submissions and childish arguements!)

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.(double edge-sword...esp in Singapore!)

Purplerose @ 10:04 AM | 0 Comments

Friday, September 01, 2006

Kalinary or Kulinary?

English is a very funny language. I am not a perfectionist or at least I try hard not to show that I am one.

Recently, at a very important speech a very interesting reference to an international competition was made. And for some reason, that made a huge impression on me. Not because I was impressed with the reference made but rather amused with how Singaporeans and non-Singaporeans reacted when I highlighted it. Guess no one would really take note of such things except a handful and I happened to be one of them.

The reference was to an International Culinary Competition. It was pronounced as 'kulinary'. Now like I have said before I am no linguist but just particular how things are said. It counts for the image projected.My uncle who has lived quite a fair bit in Australia was in my place when that speech was aired. We stared at each other.

'Kalinary'? or 'Kulinary'? Which was it? Considering the fact that the speaker fumbled over the sentence and later emphasized the word, we were quite confused. Have all of us been pronouncing it wrong all these years? Had the advertisements been wrong? What was it? British English? American English? Singlish? I mean we are a molten pot...I don't really think we are still melting...but then again it's just my opinion, but what was it?

Well, just to please my curiosity, I took down the New Collins International Dictionary of the English language.It stated kalineri, with all the weird symbols that I can't type here. But well...that's the British English way of things. Maybe the speaker was using American English? Well, I don't know.

I went to work the next day and casually asked the few that I know how to pronounce the word. All had knew what the word was, thank god for that... and pronounced it in British English. But when I highlighted the speech, there was this sudden u-turn effect...a doubt...they cast doubts on their way of pronouncing it. I wonder why no one had enough guts to say it was wrong, I supposed they felt they were no linguist either or they were just too cautious of making comments or they were just adopting the 'Singaporean culture' -don't bother what's said unless it affects your pockets. I never can conform to that...and hope I never do...cause I think it's too shallow...

Well, I asked a Scottish that I met recently and she was amused, I wouldn't want to fully quote her but I am sure it means something when someone asks now where did that come from? referring to the accent of the speaker.

Oh well...I have since given the matter a rest but I sure would like to say for the record that we are all humans, we make mistakes. Just coz someone says something in an important speech, it does not mean that it's god-spoken words. You still need to analyze it. And I am not only referring to the words kalinary or kulinary. ;>

Purplerose @ 10:04 PM | 0 Comments