Friday, October 05, 2007
I run a community magazine at work and a few years back i wrote this article for a friend. I wanted people to know that there are selfless people like she and her family who make alot of sacrifices raising a baby who was given a death sentence when he was only 5-mths old. Ariq is celebrating his birthday again soon, last year i bought him a bike,which really put a smile on his face his mum said. I am still figuring out what to get him this year. I am so happy he will be able to live life like any other primary one kid next year. It just shows that doctors are not god, they only play god spelling out death sentences. I pray that there is a cure for kids like him coz unfortunately they are born to pay for the wrong their parents committed.Why i am posting this story?- To tell everyone that your problems are nothing compared to what some people in this world are facing. This family is just waiting for the time bomb to go off, they all know it will be very painful when the time comes but they still find hope to live their lives to the fullest. So dont fret so much when things are not going your way, just be happy it's not worse.
A MOTHER’S HEARTBREAK
This October, my younger son, Ariq will be celebrating his 5th birthday. All the planning for it has already started. He wants a party at MacDonald’s with lots of cheese burgers and chocolates. You won’t imagine how much a 4-year old can plan for his birthday. And his excitement can really be infectious, even his older brother, Thaqif has been roped in for the plans. They usually celebrate their birthdays together. But in the midst of all the excitement, I cannot help but feel a sense of helplessness. Like a scene from a horror movie, it keeps playing in my mind, the lines haunting so bad, I’ll do anything sometimes to forget. - “Your baby will live up to two years old without medication and with medication up to five”. Ariq’s death sentence had been pronounced in pure cold professionalism when he was only 5-months old. I was so blank then. It felt like the end of the world.
I can only hope and pray everyday for a miracle, a cure for my baby. He has already started the triple cocktail but we are still waiting for the test to see if it works. What else is there to do? Just give me a solution and I will go all out to save my son. But does anyone have the cure to full blown AIDS? I am prepared for anything. I dare not even make plans for the future and live a day at a time. Maybe it’s easier to cope that way, I guess.
Ariq was like any other baby, with an attitude. He cried every night and had a dry pitched cough and rashes but never in my wildest dreams did it occur to me something could be wrong. I remember very well, how we received a call from a relative telling us that there was a baby up for adoption. On our way to see him, my husband turned to me and said “Dear, even if the baby is deaf or dumb, we would go ahead and take him as our own.”
Ariq was in an incubator, when I first saw him. He was premature and had many wires attached to him. I couldn’t believe such a small innocent life was abandoned, left to fend for himself. Looking at him, I just knew he was mine. And I made a promise to Ariq never to let him be alone - that I’ll never leave him.
Two weeks after Ariq was discharged, we had to go back to the hospital for his checkup. Everything was normal till the nurse said “Ma’am, you are aware that your child has bleeding in the brain, right?” I wasn’t sure what that was but was shocked. But I was told it was very mild. They sent Ariq for a blood test and it showed that he had low platelets, so they recommended iron tablets. I thought it was normal because he was premature or maybe because his mother could not afford good food.
Three months later Ariq was warded in hospital since they found he still had low platelets. After three days, we were anxious and seeing nothing wrong with our baby, we went to hospital with the intention of getting him discharged. But when we reached the hospital, the doctor pulled us aside and asked for our signatures. They wanted to take blood from Ariq to do a HIV test. It was so horrible. I didn’t know what to think. That night, I searched the net for signs and symptoms and it choked me. My baby had most of the symptoms mentioned. I immediately searched the immigration website. I was so afraid they would take him away from me. Ariq wasn’t a Singaporean and I was scared they might send him back if he was sick. I didn’t want to loose my son.
The test came back positive and Ariq was not only HIV positive but he had full blown AIDS, which meant the rate of it progressing to advance stage was faster. I cried my heart out for one whole week. Our lawyer and all the staff at the hospital kept telling me I could still give him up since the adoption was not finalized yet. But how could I give up my son? I looked after him everyday and night for the past five months and just because he is sick, I could return him back?
The doctor said with medication, he would live till five. My Ariq is turning five in October. He has asked me if he could go to school, I just smile and say he’s not ready. I know it’s not fair but I am not letting him go to a normal kindergarten. I’ve started home-schooling him. I still want to protect him from everything – the germs, the prying eyes, the rude remarks. He’s just a child. And if he lives to go to primary school, I’ll have to build a fort for him - an emotion fort.
Ariq is the face for Action For AIDS. My husband and I went public to help other childless couples and couples who intended to adopt. We wanted to create the awareness that the decision to adopt should be irreversible despite the odds. So you could say my little boy is a public figure. Will he be accepted in a normal school since everyone knows he has AIDS? I don’t know. Why shouldn’t he? The Human Right Acts permits it. And it’s not an infectious disease. But will there be riots and principals under pressure like we see in the movies? Will my family be ostracized like when we went public to say we were adopting Ariq? We lost ‘friends’ but made good friends. But only time will tell, if it permits Ariq to live another one and a half years more. My family will just have to work doubly hard to create awareness that he’s just a child like yours, who wants to live a normal life.
I am not an unsatisfied customer, I am a mother. There is no refund when you have a son who is sick. Who do you blame when such things happen? A manufacturer? God? I don’t blame anyone. It’s fate. Some call it twisted fate. But to me, there is a reason why Ariq was sent to me. He needs me. He is my son. The time we have together maybe shorter than what any mother can dream of. He may never live long enough to even go to school. He’ll never be there to hold my hand when I grow old. But no matter how short a time we have together, we value every single minute of it. Miracles do happen. Ariq is the miracle in my life. And whatever happens, we will be together forever, be it physically or spiritually.
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Shari, The Beauty With Brains
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